Why Zsa Zsa Padilla nixes marriage with BF

OPM icon and actress Zsa Zsa Padilla has said that marriage with her boyfriend architect Conrad Onglao is not among her priorities, adding that comparing him to her late partner Comedy King Dolphy is unfair.

"Nun pa talaga original plan n'ya (na magpakasal kami sa Italy). Sabi ko 'No!' I just feel personally kung pa-planuhin baka mangyari yung nagyari kay Dolphy hindi matutuloy. Baka magkaroon na naman ako ng depression. I was overthinking things. Sabi ko, 'Let's just stop. Let's just do it whenever it's clear to do it," said Padilla, during an interview on "Tonight With Boy Abunda" on ABS CBN.

Padilla, who currently appears in the new movie "Bes and the Beshies," said that Onglao doesn't want to be compared to Dolphy although he has gotten used to it.

"It used to. I'm sorry I have to reveal this. There was a time he (Dolphy) was gonna sleep and I said goodnight Love-y. And when I woke up, he just died. Parang biglang naalimpungatan ako eh. And then I started to sob. He knows that I really have to be honest enough to say I fought so much for that love. It's different that I just cannot forget him.

"I'm trying to move on with my life. But because of the children, we all love him and we miss him so much, I don't think think it would be easier to forget. I don't want to forget quite honestly.

"Nasanay na rin sya. Ayaw lang n'ya yung i-co-compare ko. 'O Dolphy used to do this. You're not doing this.' It's unfair. But that's part of my healing process. I have to realize for myself that this is another person.

"I was with Dolphy for 23 years and I was spoiled. I got everything I wanted kasi  nga yung age difference namin lagi nya akong pinagbibigyan. And here's a guy na parang headstrong. So dun kami nagkakabunguan.

"But now I realized that I have to give and take. Pag wala sya sa mood, I just keep quiet. I'll count and then it's just gonna pass.

"When Dolphy died, may mga issues ako in my past na naglabasan because si Dolphy pala, kaya gusto ko yung age n'ya because he is my protector. I was just in the bathroom talking to myself and I said 'whose gonna protect me now?' Nagulat ako. Bakit lumabas yun sa bibig ko? So whenever there's an argument, I'm so much on the defensive. Nagiging ganun ako," said Padilla, who also stars in the popular teleserye "Wildflower."

Padilla, 53, also recalled how she reconciled with Onglao.

"It was very definite. Tapos na tapos na. And of course there were chances given, fixed the relationship along the way. I thought it was final.

"So sigurado ako tapos na. Kaso he was very persistent. And then by chance we saw each other in a mall. I was about to meet a friend. Marami syang bitbit, may cake pa, he was having a dinner in his house. And then I said, 'Oh my God! There's Conrad. Walk away, walk away!' E nakita n'ya ako, hinarang nya ako ng hinarang.

"It was so hard for me because I haven't spoken to him in months. We talked in front of a restaurant until we sat down and ordered water. Dun na kami nag usap and I was crying. Kumbaga ang daming issues na lumabas.

"Slowly he started to text. Kasi lagi ko s'yang bina-block. Salbahe ako. So nagte text sya uli .And he was in my consciousness again. And I couldn't sleep. Slowly he was persistent and I started to entertain his messages again.

"For me, with the separation, maganda lang sa akin, I wasn't looking for another relationship. So the whole six months that we were not together, there was nobody. So probably he saw that opportunity. Parang pwede magkabalikan," she said.

Asked when did she realize that she still love Onglao, Padilla said: "Actually the time I saw him again. I knew it. Sabi ko 'Oh patay ako!' " - ROBERT REQUINTINA